Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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