Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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