The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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