Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
