If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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