We're like a lot better than the average bears
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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