Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I look better un-naked...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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