Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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