my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
