so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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