How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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