My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Randomize
