so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
