Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
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How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize