You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
