Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think i peed on brittanys purse
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
