Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
