walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
