There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
