i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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