I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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