So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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