thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
