Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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