I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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