I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize