I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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