he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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