We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
