you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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