what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My cat gives me a boner
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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