Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
What drink are we having for lunch?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
