ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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