There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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