i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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