fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
accomplished twins. life is a go
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
