we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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