absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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