West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
