based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
