oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
