I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
