please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Randomize
