Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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