the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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