Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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