don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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