Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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