I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
