her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
