i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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