my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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