Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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