i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
everyone is single if you try hard enough
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
my nose is crying tears of wow.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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