New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
