party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
