She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize